For some reason, I kept thinking about this at work and had to get it out of me. I’d put it behind a cut if I wasn’t on my phone.
I don’t worship a god.
I don’t believe in some supreme all knowing deity.
But I do believe. In what I’m not sure.
Mankind? Beauty? Nature? Myself?
I find my devotion in love. I love fiercely and wholly. Sacredly. I am like an evangelical looking to convert.
I pray by having sex. I hold my breath and release it all at once.I close my eyes and I whisper or whimper or moan or scream out. I respect it like a holy ritual. Two people anointing each other in their sighs and sweat. I practice it frequently. My bed is my church. This is where I worship.
Music. Music is like some holy text. A bible, the Q’ran, the Torah. I whisper lyrics to myself like prayers in times of need, joy, sadness, and pain. I look to them for hope and guidance. I interpret them to suit my needs and life. But I respect when others find different meaning.
Dancing is like attending mass. Whether done alone or in a group. The movement of the body is sublime. Is nirvana. And when in a crowd, everyone becomes linked into one giant, breathing, blissful wave that sways and thrashes and ebbs and flows.
I find redemption for my sins of self loathing, judgement, and hatred in love, sex, song, and dance.
Amen.
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“It’s baaaaack”
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My guinea pig likes to try to convince me he is dead. He’s a dick.
If you could only see the beast you’ve made of me.
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